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The Road to the Tiles

Oh the far try line is beckoning to me

And once I would have sprinted there in style

But last night’s ale and curry have now churned up in me



And played the very divvil with me piles

Oh…by…bucket and by bidet and lavabo I will go

And for flatulence my team mates me revile

For it’s hard to take a running pass and hare off down the

When clutching at your stomach all the while [pitch


It’s in Preston town in Lancashire that county of renown

We’ve a rugby club as is well known to fame

Not least for ripe select-i-ons of toothsome ales on draught

And none of us are strangers to the same

There is light brown ale and dark brown ale and colours

in between


But I stress here that the major difference is

That all of these concoctions are traditionally pulled

And none of them has artificial fizz

In consequence whereof we find that when we tour


And inevitably try the local brew [abroad

We then find ourselves extended in a most uncomfy

By this unaccustomed extra CO2 [way


This fluid agitated with some rich and varied food

Results in methane and acetylene

And thus we’re always positive of where we want to go

Though we’re often unsure when or where we’ve been